Alabama - Bisexual
USRA - Feb 01 1996-Dec 13 2001 - E5
self-identified in service: Yes
Coming Out: 6
honors & citations: Army Commendation Medal (3rd Award); Army Achievement Medal (8th Award); Driver and Mechanic Badge; Good Conduct Medal; National Defense Service Medal; NCO Professional Development Ribbon; Army Service Ribbon; Overseas Service Ribbon; Distinguished Honor Graduate, PLDC; NCO of the Year, 90th PSB; NCO of the Quarter (2d Award), 90th PSB

Bio: I was in trouble by the time I settled in at my first duty station in Georgia in 1996. I had not been in a relationship with a woman since I entered the military, but I thought I'd found a group of close friends around whom I could be myself. I underestimated a certain person's revenge motivation factor. I was accused of being in a sexual relationship with a (married) woman in my unit by a unit member I'd dated briefly. Ironically, he had suggested, while we were dating, how "cool" it would be if I had a girlfriend too. You can imagine the context of that comment.

My (real) friends and I had an emergency meeting (rather unwisely, perhaps, at the local gay/drag club) and discussed coping options and public strategies. As far as I know, there was no harm to anyone's career based on these allegations, but they created an extremely hostile and desperate atmosphere for the rest of my time in Georgia. The woman I'd been accused of being with had an investigating officer appear at her door to discuss the matter with her and her husband, and I felt keenly how maintaining a friendship with me had turned into a liability for her.

I stayed under the radar after I escaped Georgia and didn't date anyone, at all, for the rest of my term of service. I was busy, career-driven, raising a child by myself and attending college classes, and serving as a promotable Sergeant in an E-6 position, so I kept my mind off my personal life, or the lack thereof. I'd had enough by 2001 and started terminal leave shortly after the events of 9/11 -- highly decorated, recommended for OCS and WOS, and very, very unhappy. I was bitter, and in a lot of ways I guess I still am.

I've gone on to complete my BA in English with a minor in Gender Studies, and I'm working on an MA with an emphasis in queer studies and literature. I can finally breathe, though teaching on campus at a southern university has its own set of complications. I hope, at least, I've found a place where I will never again have to swallow so much resentment for so many years, and where my friends and their relationships and professional lives can't be harmed by associating with me in public.
[anonymous - pic used with express permission]

anonymous - Arizona - Lesbian
USN - Sep 1990-May 1993 - E4
self-identified in service: Yes
Out since: 1991 - Coming Out: 8
honors & citations: don't remember...won't remember until GLBT Equality is present in the US Military.

Bio: I ended up having to get married because fellow service members started
questioning my sexuality...this was just before the "Don't Ask/Don't Tell" policy.
My parents didn't know, so I feared that they would disown me if I had received a Dishonorable Discharge because of my sexuality.
I can't publish my full name, because I think my husband(?), is still in the military.

Ms. Desirae "Katie" DeShane - North Carolina - Lesbian
USRA - May 10 2001-May 09 2005 - E4
Military nick: Chocolate
self-identified in service: Yes
Out since: 1992 - Coming Out: 8
honors & citations: Global War on Terrorism, National Service Ribbon, Army Achievement Medal [2], ARCOM, Good Conduct Medal

Bio: My first coming out was to my younger sister when she was10 y/o and I was 12y/o. It was a secret between just the two of us for nine years.
   In February 2001, I came out online to friends. In May 2001, I enlisted into the military. I kept my mouth shut and stayed in the closet. I pretended that my online girlfriend at the time was really my boyfriend. She had a gender non-specific name and had sent me photos of her brother in order to pass him off as my boyfriend while in Basic and AIT.
   I stayed in the closet throughout my four years of Active Duty service, even though people in my unit asked me indirectly if I was a lesbian. I had an active social life, but I always had activities at least two hours away from where I was stationed.
   I came out to my immediate family one by one between 2002-2003. For the most part my family has been okay with my orientation. Pretty much every time I came out to someone else who knew me for a long time told me that they kinda knew already.
   On the military side, no one really knew for sure that I was gay, although one NCO had suspected I had been with a woman due to my first roommate was a friend of the NCO and had mentioned that I had a girl over and spend the night in same bed. I would always call whatever girlfriend I had at the time by the male equivalent of their name. i.e. Stephanie would become Stephan and Mary would be Matthew.
   I started coming out to local friends in 2003. At first it was just a few and I felt comfortable enough because most of them were Pagans who don't really have hang-ups over sexual orientation like other religions. My friends from the Pagan group fueled my willingness to come out and BE out.
   Since fulfilling my four years on Active Duty, I have gone back to school and am now out and proud everywhere. I even finally got the chance to go to North Carolina's Pride 2005 without having to worry whether someone from my unit was there and would out me back on base. I was extremely paranoid while in the service.
   I got out on May 9th and my 25th birthday was May 11th. So on May 10th, my friends threw me a small "coming out" shindig. It was my way of publicly coming out of the "gay closet" and the "military" closet all at once.
   Most of my life has been spent wandering from group to group, place to place trying to find where I belong. I thought I would find that place in the military and for the most part I did. However when I got out and finally was able to come out professionally as well as personally, I felt finally at peace with myself. I felt as though I had come home.

Mr. James P. Donovan - Illinois - Gay
USN - Jun 16 1960-Jun 16 1990 - E7
Military nick: Chief
self-identified in service: Yes
Out since: July 1966 - Coming Out: 7
honors & citations: Chief Hospital Corpsman. Good conduct medals, Navy Reserve Commendation Medal, National Defense Service

Bio: In the days before DADT, everybody knew, nobody cared. I was in a position to councel gay men about the problems of being gay in the mililtary, and how to deal with it. Hopefully I saved more than one career! But annually, there was what was known as "The Spring Roundup."

The witchhunters were out in force then. If you did your best not to be too obvious then, you were probably o.k. I have known people who escaped by threatening to disclose the names of senior officers, in order to get an honorable discharge. Back then, gay discharges were general at the most favorable. Also, back in those draft-days, you had to present your discharge to a potential employer. If it was not honorable, you didn't get hired. Ironically, I came out after my first stint, and went back into the closet 8 years later when I re-enlisted. Then the circus started again. By the time I retired in 1990, I was completely out, never to lie again on the military forms. I now have the privilege of being the Membership Director and Past President of AVER, the American Veterans for Equal Rights, Inc.
HMC James P. Donovan USN Ret.

Mr. Will Douglas - Ohio - Gay
USAF - Sep 21 1990-Aug 08 2001 - E5
Military nick: Doug
self-identified in service: Yes
Out since: Jan 2001 - Coming Out: 10
honors & citations: Air Force Achievement Medal, AF Good Conduct Medal, National Defense Service Medal, Southwest Asia Service Medal, Small Arms Expert Marksman Ribbon,Air Force Outstanding Unit Award, Unit Airman of the Quarter(WPAFB),Unit Airman of the Quarter(Saudi Arabia), Unit NCO of the Quarter(WPAFB)

Bio: I grew up in a small Texas town, and had never had the chance to meet other Gay men and women until I joined the Air Force in 1990. My very first assigned roommate at my first duty station was gay. Within days I came out to him and he took me to my first Gay bar and pointed out all of the other Gay military members that were there. From that point on I was a member of the most open "secret society" you can imagine.

Soon after that, I met the first love of my life, he was an Air Force Medic (I was a cop) Everyone in the dorms knew that he spent most nights in my room, but no-one ever said a word about it.

The day after my 21st birthday, I was questioned by the Air Force Office of Special Investigations on a case involving underage drinking. I told them that I along with a group of friends had celabrated my birthday at a local GAY bar...and to my surprise the only question that they asked was if I had seen anyone underage drinking, not once did sexuality come up! (Everyone was over 21 so the investigation ended)

My last roommate before I moved off base was also gay (two gay roommates out of four!) he even competed in the Mr. Gay Ohio contest and worked as a part time stripper at a gay bar.

My experience in the military was wonderful. I joined as a child, and by the end of my service I was a strong gay man. So, to all of my former friends, NCO's and commanders I say thank you. I am truely blessed to have known all of you. My only wish is that every LGBT Servicemember could be blessed in the same way.
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